Why preschoolers misbehave

Unlike the thoughtful left side, the right side is distractible, impulsive, and emotional. The two halves of the brain are in pretty close balance in big kids and adults, but the left side tends to be a bit more in control. Guess which half runs the show in toddlers? Yup, you guessed it…the right. Big emotions instantly shut down the thoughtful left brain and dramatically amp up the primitive right. Believe it or not, toddlers are biologically driven to do many of the things that drive us bonkers.

Toddlers are compulsive walkers. After months of being limited to lying down, sitting, and crawling, suddenly being able to walk and climb is absolutely thrilling.

Your primitive little friend will roam around nonstop from dawn to dusk, feeling, Wow, this is soooo cool! Toddlers are very self-centered.

Most toddlers demand to be in the spotlight: Talk about me! Toddlers have trouble switching gears. Even kids who have enjoyed warm, nurturing parenting can have trouble with self-regulation.

Here are the steps I outline in my book that can help parents deal with problematic behavior or anxiety in their children more effectively:. A lot of your work as a parent involves learning how to understand the meaning of behaviors that you would otherwise find troubling or irritating. If you learn to read the signs and recognize them for what they are—a signal of a system on overload—you will be able to resist assigning blame or labels to your children.

Stress in children often involves disappointments in their relationships, schoolwork, and other purposeful activities, or having too much to do in too little time. But stress can also be hidden and have biological sources. For example, some children are highly distressed by too much noise, light, or odor, and this can cause ongoing problems in their lives that may be hidden from you. They may also find boredom, waiting, or sitting still extremely stressful.

Though our environment may be highly stressful to our children, we often overlook information that could alert us to this fact. Instead, try to listen and calmly affirm what seems to be going on for your children.

Sadly, the child had had to endure her judgment, communicated through raised voices and hardened facial expressions, for some time prior. Learning how to soothe our own stress can help us self-regulate our emotions and lead to less reactivity toward our kids when they are suffering, as well as provide important role modeling for them.

Young children often lack the language skills to tell us directly what they might need. Sometimes they misbehave when they are hungry, tired, or bored. Children are often cranky when you pick them up from child care. If your child is hungry, bring him a snack. If your child is tired, try to give her time to rest. Keep a few small toys or a pad and pencil with you for just these times. These little tricks will help children be on their best behavior while you need to run errands.

When you are busy it can be hard to slow down and pay attention to your child. Many families find that it works best to bring a snack when they pick up their child from child care. When you get home, instead of rushing to check the mail and get dinner ready, sit down with your child read a book, cuddle, and talk about the day. The rest of the day will go better, with your child much more contented to let you go and do what you need to do. Look for things your child can do for herself.

Make a snack, pick an outfit from a set of clothes that you select, pick a family activity—whatever you are comfortable allowing your child to do. Channel their drive for independence in these manageable and appropriate outlets.

It takes time for children to understand what you are asking them to do. Be a good teacher and show them what you expect. Treat each situation like it is a new one. For most children the learning process takes many repetitions. The parent is determined to keep the child in Time Out. The child is determined to stay out of time out!

Probably not! Perhaps they are planning their revenge on the sibling that got them in trouble! Most often, Time Out becomes a battle of wills between parent and child.

There are many Positive Parenting Solutions strategies that we teach to correct behavior that are more effective than Time Out. R: Respectful — Our goal is not to make the child suffer — but to have him learn to make a better choice in the future.

An effective consequence is respectful to the child. For example, the consequence for throwing puzzle pieces around the room is to lose the privilege of playing with the puzzle for the day.